When you’ve had enough of life

You only tend to realize

That everything and everyone

Is hiding lies behind puppy dog eyes.

So sit back,

And sift through the shit

Because the more you know

The less that you will give.

And you’ll be oh so happy

To focus on yourself.

You’ll give the world nothing,

One hundred percent less

Than you should give yourself.

Because the more

Do?

What do I do.

I’ve given you my all

And you had been had as a fool

Only for me to be accepting of you.

So, please tell me,

What do i, what do I do?

Living a lie,

Months on end,

Living a lie

What do I, oh what do I do?

Living another,

A person such as yourself?

Hurtful and decieptful

Yet I have nothing else.

What do i, oh what do I do?

Just Anyone

Over the horizon

Rests the grass,

Sky and curvature.

Times like this

Bliss is a saboteur.

Little moments

And a mist in the sky

Brings lives to lament

The discourteous disquise

Directional growth,

A little too late,

We try to make the most

But tend to lose sight

Of the choice we already know

In hopes to turn wrong into right.

Never expecting

To twist or misalign.

Always infecting

The perfection in our lives.

The grass is never greener

It’s just another patch.

In which we hide demeanor

Because emotion is another lie.

A message we just give to just anyone.

True Love

I wrote this “song” 16 years ago. I had met the woman of my dreams in high school. A few months later she had moved away, far away. We kept In contact daily, we tried to forget each other but always circled back and gravitated towards each other. Until the day I drove down to rescue her from a seemingly inescapable hell. We ended up getting married and having three beautiful children. I understand that it’s poorly formatted but, it means a lot…

True love.

This is my story

Of what I’ve done wrong in the past.

This is my reality

Of all of the shit I’ve fucked up with chance.

A fucked up

Turned around

Love,

Hate,

No accomplishments song.

One not worthy

And probably way too damn long,

But it’s worth a shot…

So here it is I’ll give it all that I’ve got.

I lost the one thing I had ever loved.

She is gone now, but not up above.

I fucked up, spoke out too late.

She has left me

And now I’m in a hurtful state.

Random encounters with people that I just don’t like.

Bringing back memories of lonely, lonely nights.

There’s a hole inside of me.

It’s a true hole

But damn it didn’t have to he is deep.

This is my love,

Hate,

No accomplishments song.

It’s of my life

And everything that I’ve done wrong.

Hopefully she comes back to me

and then maybe I’d have space to breathe.

I need this song to turn my life around.

She’s the one who can steer me from crashing down.

Too late

Played hate with this loveless state.

They loved this,

To hate the faded loser.

Too jaded inside,

Too blind he realized to choose her.

That’s the one I despise,

The one that they call me.

He’s foolish,

Too stubborn to learn that she’s not “The Tease”.

The one that dies a little everyday inside.

There couldn’t be any feeling in him,

Not even lies.

I think sometimes “should I end what I got going on in my prison”?

But I find its really nothing

so I make one less decision.

Can’t even count on me so I don’t put trust in anyone.

Retrace my steps to see where things went wrong.

So I try proofreading the words in my “love song”.

I see the words of “me” and “i”,

That’s probably the problem.

Unbelievably stupid it was me.

Could I have been so dumb?

I need a little help hoping to realize what wasn’t there before.

Don’t shut me out in darkness,

Please don’t close the door.

Night Sky

As I glance at the moon
hanging in the air
I realize it’s beauty
and all of the problems
that we both share
it makes me wonder how
and when will this end
from the day it’s over
until we start to begin

without you life seems cold
to the point of decaying
from the lives we’ve both sold
it helps to have the ignorance
of me
of me
and you
and you
but that same moon fades away
the stars that have been tainted
it’s whats leading us astray
it would play if we had a chance

the stars that glow so pure
in the darkness high above
reminds me of past times
that you and me once shared
it helps to know the problem
and to bring it back to promise
to know if it’s still over
stirs me to compromise

could i blame this all on chance
or take it to the point of breakdown
the way we treated one another
is to revise the face we once held

without you life seems cold
to the point of decaying
from the lives we’ve both sold
it helps to have the ignorance
of me
of me
and you
and you
but that same moon fades away
the stars that have been tainted
it’s whats leading us astray
it would play if we had a chance

Time

There was a time

Back when I could write.

I don’t mean scribbling exercises

That I’ve neglected just every night.

I used to ponder and think

It would take me years to perfect it

And to redraft just about every piece.

I feel just as much as before

Although my time winds differently.

To wait on perfection some more

Is to wait a literal infinity.

So I write what I feel

And if need be I’ll edit later

Because time isn’t mine to steal

And life isn’t times creator.

Anticipation

A rush of anticipation.

Excitement pricks my finger tips.

A state of contradiction

Fluttering deep within my abyss.

This stomach aches,

It quakes while tasting living flesh.

I haven’t eaten, for quite some time

So the ridiculous notions

Of death tends to cross my mind.

No one other than what I say is mine.

I will take what I want because

I deserve the best, now till the end of time.

Say your goodbyes so that I don’t have to say mine.

Eliminate the thought of change as it tries to escape from inside.

Notice the look, the sadness that I hold, because living a lie is the life that I know.

Circumstances from all of these actions grow a winter inside our souls.

Despite the attempts and all my contempt you’re still the love that I hold.

Nothing special

I do this for me and no one else.

As selfish as that sounds, it’s the truth.

Born alone, die alone,

I know that it sounds cliche

But truer words have never been spoken,

Unless you’re living your life on replay.

The point of the matter is

That you cannot make another happy

Unless you know your own prerogative

You will only bring down the ones you love, imitating the law of gravity.

You are not special.

You are just like every other person, every other soul mate.

You, are not unique.

Even your fingerprint could be a duplicate.