Still here

This is still a thing?

Striving, surviving

In a place worth living in.

It’s been so long,

But when is it ever enough?

I live mediocre,

Never excelling at much.

Thirty something years around this Sun,

Sol, my saviour, warm to the touch.

An endless friction

In which I cannot believe.

200 kilometers per second,

In my heart I can’t concede.

The face of ill notions,

The one’s you hope to mislead.

Forever is never enough

When I’m judged

On the eighty-some years I’ll bleed.

Follow me

Follow me,

Follow the breeze.

Rain, it lingers.

We call it humidity.

To Suffer, repeated,

I believed in the notion.

I believed in the fate.

I thought one’s motions

Would allow them to escape.

I was wrong.

In my place I see

My mind ignores

It delivers humility.

To suffer, repeated

I relive the commotions.

I relieve the debate.

I believed that everything

And everyone

Had happened by mistake.

Drift.

Drift.

I know no bounds.

Imagine a world

Where nothing is everything

And everything enters a singularity.

A kaleidoscope.

A life remote,

Because life is eternal.

When the universe freezes,

And the last black hole decays,

Billions of other universes have begun.

Limitless is time and space.

Neither was

The faintest of feelings

Discrete, but I’m still breathing.

Life,

Love,

Hate,

The most amicable of dealings.

Suffer now,

Or suffer then.

Either way it’s continuous, repeating.

Hearts hang heavy,

I only hope that I am dreaming,

But my mind knows the truth,

Hearts are only good for beating.

Optimism, never my strong suite,

Neither was believing.

Know

Woah,

What are you doing?

Know,

That there is no retreating.

I’m begging, I’m giving,

I’m defeated into treason.

So,

Give me a moment,

Just give me some space.

Take a little bit of action

And apologize for your mistakes,

Cause I’ve given you my all

And I’m noticing what’s left;

A depleted sensation,

Will taken, misconception

Of my collaborative mechanical distress.

Too

Too little

Too late,

Signal your savior

While I sit and instigate.

Mode of attention,

I mourn the perfected,

A limited love, timid affection,

My feelings just won’t actuate.

My feelings won’t care.

Civil regret

When I could have been more.

A lack of content,

How I should have been floored.

Too little

Too late

I’m sitting in filth,

My belief that we are all okay.

Anyways

Heart held,

Too little too late?

Enough said,

Like a sick retrograde.

Buckle down,

All in wait,

A burrowing Hell,

A drawn out escape.

Suffer now

Because there is no later,

Trigger my “ness”

My essence, cratered.

Losing my torturer

In the place we’ve made.

Circumstances,

Encumbrances,

I won’t wait.

I will,

I lie.

Blood red heart, filled,

I loved her anyways.

When you’ve had enough of life

You only tend to realize

That everything and everyone

Is hiding lies behind puppy dog eyes.

So sit back,

And sift through the shit

Because the more you know

The less that you will give.

And you’ll be oh so happy

To focus on yourself.

You’ll give the world nothing,

One hundred percent less

Than you should give yourself.

Because the more

Do?

What do I do?

I’ve given you my all

And you had been had as a fool

Only for me to be accepting of you.

So, please tell me,

What do i, what do I do?

Living a lie,

Months on end,

Living a lie

What do I, oh what do I do?

Living another,

A person such as yourself?

Hurtful and decieptful

Yet I have nothing else.

What do i, oh what do I do?