A true death

Every person dies twice.

Once, when your physical being departs your vessel.

Twice, when the last person to remember you disembarks this existence.

You will be forgotten.

You will not be missed.

Eventually, eventuality will be amiss.

Having said that, doesn’t mean your existence was worth little to nothing. In fact, to the universe I’d does, but to the people around you it’s everything.

Sure, all of us will be forgotten, all of our items in the trash. All of our loved ones will be the same and not a single thing will last.

But the beauty of this, “this”, is that through astronomical odds, and that’s a limiting word in this regard, no word can do justice, you exist.

There are millions of sperm created daily. One to two million eggs in each woman. 8 billion people on this planet, not counting the ones existing previously.

Yet, you seem to be breathing here today. You are reading this and understanding what the words are trying to relay. It may not come at first, a quick glance, and you’ll never fully understand. Read these letters, put the phone down and daze into the void. Imagine the meaning that I’m so poory trying to instill. Know you mean nothing and everything all at the same time.

Infinity

I am infinity
Living and dying
In every existence.
I’ve been infinity
Living and dreaming
In abstract abundance.
I am infinity
The way I drive my “ness”
Through deliverance
And positivity.
I am infinity
One is plenty
Plenty more exist through reality.

Stop and listen.
Moments conceived through sheer bliss.
One door closes, they’ve all been open.
How can one fathom this?
I am infinity.
So you take a second to to pretend you noticed the fiber of my verbiage and stroll through the convex thinking of my mind.
I am infinity.
Note the word, note the meaning. Never for a second place the tendencies, suicidal or neglect, in a pocket of wishful thinking and brevity.

I am infinity,
And so are you.
Another means of writing my truth.
Sitting in the same damn chair to elaborate thoughts.
This life, that life, you will exist again.
You will exist the same.
Neither Heaven or Hell, because quite honestly, it’s statically closer to a limited possibility., but keep in mind…

You are infinity.
Pissing, shitting, eating and breathing.
There is a multiverse, but don’t just state it,
Really break it down that
We are infinity.
Something came from nowhere and nowhere happens to exist.
Collaboration of cells and experience have made up your soul, your “ness”.

Abrupt actions, deliberated plans. 
It makes no difference,
You follow choices at hand.
You’ve done it before and you’ll do it again.
Your friends and family, a list too long to comprehend.
What you know now, will not be known later.
Live, shit, and breathe because tomorrow you’ll grown in able.
We are collection,
We are excrement,
We are one in a trillion,
We are the experiment,
We notice affliction,
In every little sense,
We build the equation,
We are the stress,
We are the accommodation,
We are perfect,
We breed calamity,
We breed succes,
We are infinity,

Hold no regrets.

Stall the bleed

I see your face

And my heart sinks

The thoughts I had

Still won’t cease.

Death, dissolution,

A bitter beg, a plea.

Please take me away.

Please take me away.

Overdose of life,

Too much, too quick,

And I feel deceased.

Please, go back to sleep.

Go back to sleep.

My mind doesn’t tame,

My eyes know no fame,

Except to my family.

Is that enough, do you believe?

And I’m living obscene,

I’d sell my soul for a better life.

To go back to sleep

Please take me away.

.

.

.

This bitter dream,

I’d like to apologize,

To say sorry.

I brought you into this world,

And now I can’t leave,

If I do you may just be,

Driven to the slaughterhouse,

Living with the ghosts of past,

Just like me.

So please,

I’ll stay a little bit longer.

It’s not fair, but,

You bring me to my knees.

I’ll save the cliff for another time,

And I’ll stall the bleed.

Just please don’t be like me.

Does it matter?

I know who I am.

I know what I want.

I knew what to do

Without a second thought.

I’ve given my soul

And I’ve given enough,

It’s taking it’s toll

And Im close to giving too much.

So sell me down the river

In hopes that I may drown.

Serious notions that I deliver

Are leaving you unbound.

Still here

This is still a thing?

Striving, surviving

In a place worth living in.

It’s been so long,

But when is it ever enough?

I live mediocre,

Never excelling at much.

Thirty something years around this Sun,

Sol, my saviour, warm to the touch.

An endless friction

In which I cannot believe.

200 kilometers per second,

In my heart I can’t concede.

The face of ill notions,

The one’s you hope to mislead.

Forever is never enough

When I’m judged

On the eighty-some years I’ll bleed.

Follow me

Follow me,

Follow the breeze.

Rain, it lingers.

We call it humidity.

To Suffer, repeated,

I believed in the notion.

I believed in the fate.

I thought one’s motions

Would allow them to escape.

I was wrong.

In my place I see

My mind ignores

It delivers humility.

To suffer, repeated

I relive the commotions.

I relieve the debate.

I believed that everything

And everyone

Had happened by mistake.

Drift.

Drift.

I know no bounds.

Imagine a world

Where nothing is everything

And everything enters a singularity.

A kaleidoscope.

A life remote,

Because life is eternal.

When the universe freezes,

And the last black hole decays,

Billions of other universes have begun.

Limitless is time and space.

Neither was

The faintest of feelings

Discrete, but I’m still breathing.

Life,

Love,

Hate,

The most amicable of dealings.

Suffer now,

Or suffer then.

Either way it’s continuous, repeating.

Hearts hang heavy,

I only hope that I am dreaming,

But my mind knows the truth,

Hearts are only good for beating.

Optimism, never my strong suite,

Neither was believing.

Know

Woah,

What are you doing?

Know,

That there is no retreating.

I’m begging, I’m giving,

I’m defeated into treason.

So,

Give me a moment,

Just give me some space.

Take a little bit of action

And apologize for your mistakes,

Cause I’ve given you my all

And I’m noticing what’s left;

A depleted sensation,

Will taken, misconception

Of my collaborative mechanical distress.